FreeBritannia

A winter statistic

Basti — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:07:06 GMT

A winter statistic

98% OF PEOPLE SAY 'OH SHIT' BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD.

THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM WEST VIRGINIA AND THEY SAY, 'HOLD MY BEER AND Y'ALL WATCH THIS.'

Forum: Oddities, witticisms and jokes

This Chick Does Flicks: 2012

Aerostar — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:13:24 GMT

Red State

This Chick Does Flicks: 2012

by Ann "Babe" Huggett

Im not given to laughing at inappropriate moments in movies, especially when its literally the end of the world, but no one warned me that within the current disaster mega hit 2012 there lurks such utter and impossible physical lunacy that all you can do is laugh. When 2012s sneak peek trailer was released earlier this year, it went viral on the web precisely because the trailer defied belief what with its violent upheaval special effects, star John Cusaks crazy limo driving and Tom McCarthys sudden ability to segue from inexperienced student pilot to a Millennium Falcon flight jockey thanks to a massive overdose of adrenalin form which he probably is still recoveringrecovering that is if his character hadnt gone into the meat grinder gears of a later day Noahs Ark right towards the end.

But Im getting ahead of myself. The official 2012 web site has a synopsis so its worth quoting if only to get the minimal divorced-daddy-who-still-secretly-loves-his-wife-and-kids-saves-them-against-all-the-laws-of-physics-and-current-boyfriend-of-ex-wife-and-lives-happily-ever-after human interest subplot. To wit: Never before has a date in history been so significant to so many cultures, so many religions, scientists and governments. 2012? is an epic adventure about a global cataclysm that brings an end to the world and tells of the heroic struggle of the survivors.

OkaaaaaaaaaaySo are we all supposed to be making out our Last Will and Testament because some Mayans constructed their celestial calendar to poop out centuries after their own civilization did? Even Nostradamus gave up his predictions at 2005 but were still here. I personally think that the day after D-for-Disaster-Day, December 21, 2012. I am going to wake up wondering, Oatmeal or English muffins? and Only 3 more days until Christmas!

Evidently director Roland Emmerich thinks otherwise. For him its a darn magnetic pole shift set in motion by neutrons heating up the Earths core thanks to massive solar flares which disrupts the continental crust thereby getting all of California sliding into the Pacific, massive tidal waves inundating all coastlines, even those without the necessary coastal rise to generate the energy necessary for 1500 foot walls of water, the Yellowstone giant caldera going ka-blooey and unremitting earthquakes toppling every Christian and Buddhist landmark existing world wide but curiously leaving Mecca untouched. I mean, who knew earthquakes would make such dhimmitudinal distinctions?

For those of us, who grew up last century watching such films as Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure there was a saying that, If it was an Irwin Allen flick, it was a disaster. Now here we are in the 21^st Century and it looks like Emmerich is picking up where Allen left off. Responsible for such films as Independence Day, Godzilla and The Day After Tomorrow, Emmerich doesnt leave much standing in his wake. At least Allen only killed off the immediate cast. Emmerich goes for such wholesale human slaughter that hes probably getting fan mail from Dr. Eric The Lizard Man Pianka.

2012 stars John Cusak as Jackson Curtis (probably the luckiest man in the 2012 universe what with his incredible driving, sprinting and diving skills and ability to avoid lava bombs), Amanda Peet as his confused ex, Kate Curtis, Chiwetel Ejiofor (now theres a mouthful!) as geologist-cum-squishy-humanitarian, Adrian Helmsley, and Thomas McCarthy as the really squishy Dr. Gordon Silberman, who specializes in boob jobs for girlfriends of Russian sugar daddies. The 2012 supporting cast features the scrawny and leaden Thandie Newton as Laura Wilson, daughter of the self-sacrificing US President, Thomas Wilson, played by a very unhappy Danny Glover and can you imagine President Obama selflessly staying behind in an evacuation?

In fact, the only people who dont really get left behind, the very people, who claim that theyre the ones, who should go forth and repopulate the world, are the exact same ones who need to be buried under ninety feet of silt after the flood waters recede. Im talking about the US government and all the other world leaders and their cabinets right up to QE II and her nasty little corgis, whom she has stated that she prefers to her subjects. Yes, thats right: the people may perish but the government goes on and what the heck is it going to take to kill the IRS off anyway?

Speaking of slimy politicians, Oliver Platt as Oval Office head honcho, Carl Anheuser, does a credible imitation of Bill Richardson and bulldog Zlatko Buric as Russian billionaire, Yuri Karpov, pushes everyone around as he and his sons, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, fight for their prepaid seats on the US version of Noahs Ark. Cusaks kids are pretty much run-of-the-mill child actors and, quite frankly, all of the yelling that substitutes for acting is the same by everyone except the crazy-as-a-loon character, Charlie Frost, who is played by Woody Harrleson with all the insane wisdom of one, who has listened to one too many editions of George Noorys Coast To Coast radio show and really, really, really knows the end is near.

If you are shaking your head about now and wondering what type of people would believe this end of the world nonsense, just think of Al Gore, who recently stated that the center of the Earth was as hot as the Sun. Maybe now all this rush, rush, rush by the Democrats and the Obama Administration to tank the US economy and force us into the grinding misery of socialism while they pork out at the taxpayer funded trough suddenly makes sense. Considering how the liberals have destroyed education in this country and plunged us into a politically correct Dark Ages reflective of their own mindset, is it any wonder then that they are acting like time is not on their side? Maybe they really do think the clock runs out for them in 2012 and I am here to tell you right now that they are wrong.

The clock doesnt run out for the Democrats in 2012. It runs out for them in 2010.

Shades of Y2K panic alert

This was a fun movie but only go during the matinee when the seats are cheaper. I didn't know John Cusak was such a mouth breather either. About the only time he closes his mouth is when he is underwater.

Forum: Lifestyle

OBAMA DROPS BELOW 50% IN GALLUP

Basti — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:58:58 GMT

OBAMA DROPS BELOW 50% IN GALLUP

What is beyond me is why Doofus POTUS isnt flat 0%. I mean come now! Tell me what this useless narcissistic blowhard has done? Cue sound of crickets chirping. He like all of the Left talks a good game, but when it comes to performance and staying power hes impotent.

Forum: News from the USA

CONGRESSMAN PUSHES DAY WITHOUT COMPLAINING RESOLUTION...

Basti — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:58:26 GMT

CONGRESSMAN PUSHES DAY WITHOUT COMPLAINING RESOLUTION...
Lets see now. The economy is in the tank. The dollar will soon be worth less than Confederate money in 1866. Unemployment is rampant. The war in Afghan-land is heading south. The country is filled with illegal aliens. Muslim moon-bats are going on jihad sprees on US Army bases. Socialism is running rampant. The feds want to control health care. Weve got Useless As Tits On A Pump-handle as POTUS. Congress is filled with Commies, liars, thieves, and frauds. Ive let some out the list is just soooooo long. Yep cant see any reason to complain about who what was once the greatest nation in the world has now sank into a stinking cesspit.

Forum: Own goals!

Oprah to End TV Show

Basti — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:57:45 GMT

Oprah to End TV Show
Another disaster! My God I wont be able to sleep tonight!

Forum: News from the USA

Al Gore Speech Venue Graffitied: Dont Buy False Solutions

Basti — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:57:12 GMT

Al Gore Speech Venue Graffitied: Dont Buy False Solutions
Anti-Goracle protests! Say it isnt so Gracie! The Goracle knows all and see all! If you doubt that you should either be locked up or fed to drowning polar bears.

Forum: Victories!

Climate change pushes poor women to prostitution, dangerous work

Basti — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:56:09 GMT

Climate change pushes poor women to prostitution, dangerous work
The worlds oldest profession has been with us since the first woman figured out she could sell for a profit what wives were giving away and getting damn little in return. Prostitution like gambling, boozing, doing drugs, and war will always be with us because there is demand and many people like these things. Weather has nothing to do with any of this.

Forum: Lifestyle

Leaked Emails Confirm Global Warming Is a Deliberate Hoax

Basti — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:55:15 GMT

Leaked Emails Confirm Global Warming Is a Deliberate Hoax
I dont need hacked e-mails to tell me global warming is a deliberate hoax. You only need to be smarter than a turnip and have read with the eco-nuts and Lefty-green- screwballs have said and done over the last 20 years to know its a hoax. This is greatest hoax since the Piltdown Man hoax.

Forum: Victories!

Ho Ho No: Postal Service Drops Santa Letters Program

Basti — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:54:42 GMT

Ho Ho No: Postal Service Drops Santa Letters Program
The war on Christmas continues. A program dating from 1954 is now considered dangerous for children. Some pedophile might answer the childs letter. Like thats never happened in the last 55 years! Or just lock up all pedophiles and throw the keys away.

Forum: News from the USA

Patch

Basti — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:53:58 GMT

The other day, I needed to go to the emergency room.
Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch onto the front of my shirt that I had downloaded off the Internet.
When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they werent that sick after all.
Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.
Heres the patch. Feel free to use it the next time youre in need of quicker emergency service.
It also works at DMV and the Laundromat.
Dont try it at Wendys, The whole crew will exit and youll never get your order.

Forum: Oddities, witticisms and jokes

Bowing

Basti — Thur, 19 Nov 2009 22:04:42 GMT

Forum: Oddities, witticisms and jokes

I like the way Ace sums it up:

Basti — Thur, 19 Nov 2009 21:45:03 GMT

I like the way Ace sums it up:
What we have here is a man having a delusional love-affair with Barack Obama who perceives Sarah Palin as both a threat to his pretend husband as well as a source of painful sexual jealousy that she, unlike he, is the right gender to actually convert this pretend husband to real one.
Well said I must say!

Forum: Victories!

Jesse Jackson says youre not a real Black Man unless you want the government to provide you with medical welfare

Basti — Thur, 19 Nov 2009 21:44:18 GMT

Jesse Jackson says youre not a real Black Man unless you want the government to provide you with medical welfare
Sometimes JJ like Biden inadvertently blurts out the truth.

Forum: News from the USA

Dissent Is Criminal

Basti — Thur, 19 Nov 2009 21:43:47 GMT

Dissent Is Criminal
Yep thats the way it is now. Expose someone or some organization for corruption/fraud any you could be the one in trouble. Protest taxes, protest health care, and youre a dangerous Right-Wing-Nut. Shoot up a US Army base and youre not a terrorist Muslim or otherwise. This is the way it worked in the old USSR and still works like this in places like Cuba and parts of Africa.

Forum: The Rant

NICE says Bayer liver cancer drug too costly

Basti — Thur, 19 Nov 2009 21:43:08 GMT

NICE says Bayer liver cancer drug too costly
Just die and stop whining for expensive drugs!

Forum: Health